THE END

Typing THE END is such a great feeling. After, too many years, I finally got to type those two words on the first draft of Death Knows My Name. I found a way to give Mayne and Eric their HEA.

I am in the process of day four on BK 2 fast draft. Fourteen days of 5000 words or more to end up with 70k I actually need 80k so I try and write more on the two weekends.



Then after the fast draft I focus on editing and cutting out 5,654 words from DKMN and editing it before I send it off to both my CPs and get their opinions. When that is done I will decide if I send it out to Agents, Editors or Self pub it. Oh the decisions.



I am totally fine with self-pubbing it. I am just trying to figure out the long run of my career.



Keep writing and Keep reading,

Casse

The First Cut is the Deepest,

...as is the love of your first finished book. I love my first MS, it still gives me chills when I read the story. Sadly, as it is now it is crap. I need a lot of revising but once I am done I am going to put it up on Smashwords. Why because I love the story but no publisher/editor/agent will ever touch it. I still want readers to have the chance to see the world I built that ALL my angel stories take place in. Also, Dhylaka the heroine in Born Through Desecration plays a major role in Mayne's story.

Until I get BTD all fixed up and pretty for you, here is a rough peek at why I love Dhylaka and Dartainian and that other evil character in the story. Oh I also should warn BTD is not a romance, though a lot of it goes on in it. It also involves what I call a love polygon so convoluted it is insane. Keep in mind I started BTD when I was 18 or 19 which was *ahem* 10 years ago.


***
A frightening thought crossed my mind and fled; the same thought crossed Father’s mind and lingered, I could see it in his eyes. Maybe Lucifer and I were, in fact, as he feared alike. I set out for the forest that night after father returned home, and I would enter Shol in the afternoon after a morning camp-out outside. As I walked through the dense trees, I saw a pitch-black dark out in the edge of the woods. I knew that had to be Shol. My heartbeat quickened as fear crept into my body. It was a fear I had never felt before. It was a fear in my soul, or was it for my soul?
When I enter Shol, I had to be completely aware. I would not survive with my guard down. I settled down and set up camp about half a mile away. I knew I couldn’t take Lucifer by surprise so I had to be smart about my approach. Unable to rest I watched the sun climb higher in the sky and I knew it was time.
As I approached the treed entrance into the deep dark, something moved and caught my eye. I turned quickly and saw an angel. Catching it’s eye it spoke to me.
“Woman, what are you doing here?”
I walked over to him boldly knowing if I showed any of the fear I felt I’d be eaten alive.
“Take me to Lucifer.”
The angel looked me over. His eyes accustomed to the dark after years of shadow dwelling were dark and brooding. “Do we know you?”
I smiled. “No, but I’m looking for someone that he can help me find.”
“Come with me.” He placed a hand on my back and I allowed the contact. I did not move away from it or fight it knowing that he’d think I was weak if I did. The touch was forceful yet gentle which surprised me. He led me deeper into the darkness, and as dark as it was it seemed to get darker and darker the further we walked in.
“Wait here I’ll talk to Lucifer.” He spoke abruptly stopping me. He disappeared into an even darker room and I couldn’t see past the dense black. I could barely even see inches away from my face. I felt powerless and blind. I felt extremely vulnerable and my mind toyed with the idea that this was a hugely stupid mistake, to enter Shol. I fought back my panic not allowing myself to show any fear. A few minutes later, the angel emerged from the back.
“Come.” He ordered with a single word. I did not allow myself to hesitate, that would have shown weakness and I could not afford any of that now, not in front of creatures such as these. I followed the fallen angel into the room he had emerged from. Again, the angel stopped in front of me.
“Here she is, Lucifer. She says she—”
I stepped forward. “Excuse me but I can speak for myself.”
The angel growled a laugh as did someone I still could not see. The one the angel referred to as Lucifer.
“Well, Dartainian, looks like she put you in your place.”
More laughter from the two before the first angel spoke.
“Well, Woman speak for yourself then.”
I could hear the smile in his voice. I sighed, men.
“Lucifer, I’m Dhylaka. I was told you could help me find someone.”
The figure rose and approached me. The figure was massive almost Archangel Michael’s size. As he stepped closer, I saw golden hair so shiny it shone like the sun in the afternoon sky. So bright, it looked out of place here. His eyes were hazel. I could see him as if someone turned on a lamp. His skin was deeply tanned, which seemed even more out of place considering the gloom he kept his palace enshrined with.
“So Dhylaka, who told you I could help find this missing person— who is your?”
I finished his inquiry. “My husband or rather soon to be deceased husband.”
Lucifer continued, his voice hinted at amusement. “Shame for the poor guy. Well, yes who told you I could find this, this man whom you seek to kill.”
I looked around. “Latacrum, he told me.”
Lucifer looked to the angel he called Dartainian.
“Find Latacrum and bring him here, now!”
I stepped in. “No need.”
They looked at me questioning, I could see them asking themselves who is this woman who dared to cancel an order from Lucifer, who could erase an order from Lucifer?
I tossed Lucifer the small box. I heard a soft sound as he caught it without fumble.
“That is for you.”
Lucifer opened the top of the box. “She’s right, no need to find Latacrum.” His voice held a smile of pleasure. “Well, Dhylaka you have been a naughty girl, little one. I kind of like it.”
He looked at me with a sickening awe. “And this is for me?”
“Yes, I wanted his blood from the first second I met him. I always wanted you to see I am not one who is weak at heart.”
Dartainian smiled and teased. The two were friends, I assumed. Dartainian held no fear of Lucifer, and spoke freely as a friend might. Or as close as friendship could be in a place like this and between creatures such as them.
“Lucifer can we keep her, I like her?” He turned to face me. “You really killed Latacrum?”
I nodded. “Yes, I kind of feel bad but, he gave me cause for my hate of him to overcome my morality.” A lie. I did not feel bad. However, a part of me knew that I should and a part of me could not bear to admit that I did not feel bad to these Angels. I did not want to lose my humanity in the face of them.
Lucifer pushed a chair towards me with his foot. “Sit Dhylaka; please. Dartainian excuse us if you would.”
Dartainian turned to go, before he did, he gave me a heart-stopping smile. He was gorgeous in a dark, deadly way.
After Dartainian left Lucifer kneeled in front of me and asked, “So you are looking for Dacarum and his child, your son?”
I looked at him. “How’d –?”
Lucifer placed a hand on my knee. It sent a tingle up my body and I fought to catch my breath. I fought his touch mentally but that fight never reached the exterior of my body.
“Look Dhylaka, I am going to tell you something. It will probably hurt you but I have to tell you anyway, not because I am compelled by my honesty but because I need your help. But that will come later.”
I looked at him. “What do you want to tell me?”
Lucifer stood up, found a chair and sat. I could tell that all his movements and actions were measured, no matter how natural they seemed to come off as; they were perfectly choreographed.
“It’s about Dacarum. Understand this Dhylaka; I have had my eye out for you. Rather I have been waiting for you since my fall, since the world was created. I had scouts everywhere watching for you. You are probably confused right now but please let me explain before you ask questions. You or rather whom I have come to believe you are, is written about in what is called ‘The Book of Angels’ and I need you to fulfill the prophecy about me. Oh, they will try to stop us but now that you are here with me, they cannot. For you being here I must thank Latacrum, whom you saved me the trouble of killing and robbed me of the pleasure of killing as well, but dear one, they underestimated you. I must also thank my scout, Dacarum.”
I stood up. “What? Dacarum works for you?”
Lucifer came in front of me. “Calm down Dhylaka, sit. I will explain, I will.” His face was warm and his eyes felt as if they were holding me. I wanted to leave and I knew I should; I had to leave, I needed to leave; I would drown if he didn’t let me up. My head swam with dizziness and my lungs refused to inhale. I looked at Lucifer with wide eyes, I had to breathe or else I would drown in him.
***

Keep reading and I will keep writing,
Casse NaRome

How I work.

  This past NaNoWriMo I worked on and finished a rough rough ROUGH draft of When Lily's Fall.  I decided to scrap it all together because I hated it sooo much.  I was walking home one night from work and realized why I hated it so badly.  The heroine was way too weak and then Lily came to me.  I love when that happens.  Her entire story popped into my mind.  I also decided to make her broken but not weak.  She is damaged by men.  But her Hero, Valience is also very very damaged as well.  I am actually excited to try and skeleton sketch this story out.  I don't plot but I skeleton sketch my stories just to get to know all my characters.  I have to find all my notes from the original to see if the core story can be saved.  I will probably do that after I move so maybe in August.  Here is the start of the original.  Hope you enjoy it.

Before the Fall

"So you are clear on what it is you must do?"


Valience nodded. "Yes."


"Any questions?" The other man asked. It earned him a sneer.


"Would you have me do this job if I needed questions answered first." And Valience was correct, all knew his reputation. He killed quickly, was competent, and had no time for the why's. Just tell him the who and they were dead. Then, you pay. (This is in red because if I were editing this story it would be deleted.)
 
Chapter One

Rain fell like angels

The rain fell hard around my car. The wipers worked overtime trying to clear the away the rain. I leaned forward squinting trying to see past the rain. I pulled my car away from the center lane where slick puddles were building up. I had a few miles to go before the exit that would take me away from populated civilization onto my rural gravel road that's lengths were probably flood.

I forced myself to sit back and relax or I give myself a headache. I scolded myself for being so tense. The lights shining off the pavement was doing a good job of that on its own.

I saw my exit coming up so I made my way over to the correct lane and got off the highway. My road was getting flooded so I was going to have to check on the barn when I got home. To make the hey didn’t get soaked. I couldn’t afford to replace it if it got molded. I sighed. Some times I wondered why I even bother trying to keep up with the maintenance of this old decrepit farm. But then I remember my father’s prideful face as he worked the farm by himself, or even when I was out there helping him. He always fought for this farm and at least I could do was no less than what he did. He had left me his pride and joy, all he had when he passed away last year. This farm.

"Lily," he would start. "You can always tell a man's worth by what he leaves his legacy. You are that legacy and this is what I leave you." He would finish the lecture with arms spread wide as he turned in a slow flourishing circle like a king admiring his land. Took me years to say he was a hard working and that was his worth and what he wanted his legacy to be.

And I do admit, on the days when missing him nearly crushed me, being outside, working the farm, I could feel him there right with me. Sometimes I’d even hear him laugh just to turn to see his beaming smile at me and be alone. I missed him so much. Some days more than others. So that is why I must try and keep this farm. It is all I have left of my parents.

They had fell in love on this farm. Raised me on this farm. And I had lost them both. My Mother years ago. When I was a child. I lost her to herself. I pulled up to the house and stopped the car. I prepared myself to be bombarded by the rain.

I stepped out right into a puddle. Greeeat. I slammed the car door and the sound echoed for miles, or so it seemed. I had no neighbors. None at all. I kicked the water form my soaked shoe and hurriedly made my way to my porch. I dropped all my things and then made my way around the house to the back and towards the barn. My hair was slicked to my fast by the time I made it there. I made sure all the animals were safe and dry before I went to the task of sandbagging the barn entrance so the water wouldn’t ruin the hey stacks.

By the time I made it back into the house, I was soaking, shivering and hungry. I showered and dressed in warm dry clothes and set to the task of finding something to eat. I was all to aware, that this big house was awfully lonely tonight.

++ ++ ++

I saw a barn up a head. Finally a shelter from this driving rain. I had traveled through nothing but wooded areas for what seemed like hours. But really it might have been only two. As I drew neared to the shelter I saw a woman lugging sandbags and butting them just inside the barn door and a row or two on the outside. I realized that she had no idea what the hell she was doing. But I did not disturb her. I didn’t want to ruin her pride. When she finally returned to the main house I bunkered up in the barn. The smell of animal didn’t bother me. And the animals didn’t seem too bothered with my smell. So we cohabited in the small, damp but warm barn and I slept. It wasn't a peaceful sleep, but one full of nightmares. Only I was the monster. Since I had awoken in a forest, so it seemed with rain splattering on my face, I could not remember anything but my name. Valience. It seemed to be burned in me so deep that it would never be forgotten. Maybe these nightmares were not dreams at all but memories? My God, I hope not. My God. That seemed familiar. My God, once maybe but I had a feeling that not anymore. Can God be disowned? Of course not. I am being silly. It was me. I was the one disowned?

++ ++ ++

I woke up to the sun. As rainy as it was last night the sun still made its way out this morning. My boots sunk into the mud as I made my way out to the barn to muck the stalls and feed and water all the animals. When I walked up to the barn, I saw that the sandbags stacked up differently than I had originally had them. I pushed them out the way and opened the door.

“Hey, babies. How was your night?” I said to the animals. My words stuck in my throat. There was a man sprawled out on the hey. I froze. Could I back out of here before he noticed? What if he was a psycho killer? I turned to run and the toe of my foot caught on the edge of one of the sandbags. I fell to the ground in a graceless heap.

"Umph!" I tried to scramble to my feet but it was too late. I heard rustling behind me. I turned over and was staring right into the coldest eyes I had ever seen.


Chapter two
Tete-a-tete por dueax

The man looked at me like I was prey. I fought to find my footing. I wanted to face this beast on my feet.

"Do you need my assistance in standing?" The voice was deep but held no feeling. It seemed detached. The aloof man did not wait for my answer because he put his hands underneath my shoulders and pulled me to my feet. He let me go so swiftly I stumbled forward into his chest.

"Sorry. Thank you." I hesitated briefly. "Why are you in my barn?"

"It rained last night." Was his simple reply.

I stared at him. "Yes, I am aware that it rained. I have soggy shoes as proof. Why are you in here."

"Where else would I go? Nothing else is around here." He spoke truly. There was nothing for miles on either side.

"Are you dangerous?" I asked plainly. His dark eyes looked dangerous. Downright deadly.

"I can be but I have no plans or reason to hurt you." He spoke as if that was a perfectly rational thing to say. His blunt honesty was disconcerting.

"Well, come on to the main house. You can shower up while I make breakfast. You can put on some of my dad's clothes. They shouldn't be too bad a fit." I started walking to the house.

"He won't mind?"

I looked back briefly. "What do the dead care."

"So he is dead than?" He spoke as if he were asking after the weather.

"Yes." He took up a pace beside me. I noticed he didn't apologize like everyone else feels the need to do after you hear of once death. I looked out the corner of my eye at him. He hadn't seemed to look over at me in notice.

"Yes?" He asked.

"I am going into the city later, did you need a ride anywhere?"

"No, I wouldn't even know where to go." He didn't offer anymore.

"Homeless than? You don't look homeless."

"I wouldn't know. I don't remember anything before yesterday morning." I stopped and he stopped after a few additional steps.

I took the two steps to him and placed my hands on his head, in examination.

"Are you hurt? Head injury?" He stopped my prodding by taking my hands in his. They were strong hands. He smiled for the first time, albeit a very small one.

"I don't think I am hurt." He looked into my eyes.

"No headache then?" He took one of his hands from me and only then did I realize I was still holding them. He rubbed his brow.

"Yes, When I wake. Then it fades throughout the day."

I began to walk again and tugged on the remaining hand I held.

"Come on. Lets see what can be done."

I got him set up for his shower. I set pain pills and water by the clean clothes and towels I sat out for him. Then I left him so I could prepare breakfast.



++ ++ ++

The towels smelled like the woman, crisp, clean and soapy. The scent of her filled my nostrils from the second I helped her up. The initial fear she felt to the softness she felt when she became concerned.

Her body intrigued me. She had curves beneath her clothes. Her hips and butt, round. Firm would be my guess.

The images of my dreams flashed before my eyes. The things I did in these dreams made me concerned for this generous woman. The things.

I stood on a grassy knoll. Blood, dirt and sweat striking down my face. To my left a breath takingly gorgeous woman stood. She looked feral. We had just shared in a massacre of 185,000 people. Blood soaked her hair.

There was a knock on the door.

"Did you drown in there?"

I opened the door just as I pulled on my shirt. Her eyes went to my t-shirt covered chest. It was a little tight across but apparently she liked what she saw. I successfully fought the urge to smile.

"I'm done." I informed her. She shook her head and visibly forced herself to look me in the eyes. I saw a delicious heat behind them.

"Breakfast is ready. Hope you have an appetite. I don't remember how much guys eat so I made a lot." She prattled.

I shrugged. "You don't spend time with a lot of guys?"

She mirrored my shrug back to me. "I do, we just don't spend the time eating." She paused, then added. "Not food anyway." I noticed a spark in her eyes before she turned to walk away.

I watched her lead the way, pausing to take in the view before following her.

I enjoyed the heat this woman made me feel. I couldn't remember having this feeling and couldn't help wondering if I had; if so who had I felt it with before. How was it even possible to forget this inquichable heat?

++ ++ ++

I felt his eyes on me as I lead the way to the dining room. I felt sort of uncomfortable but I also liked it and welcomed the attention.

“Take a seat."

Do you accept me: Where it all began...for me at least.

I was in 8th grade or it was probably the summer before 8th grade and my dad bought me the sequel to one of my favorite movies, The Prophecy with Christopher Walken, Eric Stoltz, and Viggo Mortensen. Can you say yum? I had already had an attraction to angels, I believe, from the amount that I liked that movie so of course I had to watch 2.

Enter angel Danyeal (hottie Russell Wong), He has come to Earth and a woman "hits" him with her car she takes him in to care for him and of course they end up doing the due. During the sex having Danyeal asks the hottest words ever muttered on full screen, "Do you accept me?" Oh my Gawd! My little 13 year old heart went pitter pat. The woman, of course says yes and BAM, it is done...his angel seed is planted and days later she is like in advance pregnancy. What happens next is interesting but it is not important for this post. Because up until that moment, I wasn't aware of the fact that Angels can and have been with human women and now was aware. The thought was so hott to me.

I love bad boys so a fallen angel?...Yes I find that appealing, very (in fantasy life ok? So any angels reading this if you were to approach me in real life I would turn you down...regretfully). I don't like the Demon fallen angel mind you I don't find them sexy. They scare me, but the ones that love God but only have fallen for love? Oh yea I find that damn Hott! Every girl wants that! A guy to choice her over everything else? Yes! Most women won't admit it but I will. Yes, deep down I want a guy to pick me over any and everything and one. I do. I am not ashamed to say it, PICK ME DAMN IT! So a Nephilims or Nephalims (as I spell it in my books because there are many celestial beings who took human wives the A for the angels that bore/spawned them) they are the ultimate bad boy that make the ultimate choice for love. Yes, I wants that.

"Fallen Angel" by Dalia Kochnev

©Dalia Kochnev. All rights reserved!

He was sitting there, staring into nothing, looking like it, and if it wasn't for the wings, one would never come close. And none of the people walking by would see them.

He hadn't been banished.

 He walked away.

That is why I write novels about fallen angels. That is why I read novels about fallen angels. That is why I love fallen angels and love what I do...



Keep writing, reading and sharing,

Casse NaRome!